First and foremost, I’m calling out all the women in my life who are mothers. Shame on you for the things you didn’t tell me and the things you did tell me that were simply not true!
1. Vaginal prolapse is a very real condition that some mothers experience. And three weeks after delivering my precious bundle I was curious to find out if “it” happened to me. So, I took to the bathroom, snagged a mirror and with bated breath…I looked! I’m not sure what I saw, but it wasn’t pretty! Needless to say, I scheduled an emergency visit with my OB and I soon learned that “it” had, in fact, NOT happened to me. Shame, shame! No one told me…“DON’T LOOK, your OB will do a thorough examination at you SCHEDULED postpartum appointment, so save your coins on the unnecessary co-pay.”
2. No one told me…During the first year of postpartum people will look at your belly THEN your face!
This made me very uncomfortable when I had the Ford F-150 tire around my used-to-be waist. At ten-months postpartum, I now have a training wheel tire, but it’s still crazy uncomfortable. A heads-up would have been nice!!!
3. No one told me…To pack a single outfit for your new baby to wear home from the hospital, not an entire bag of baby apparel and essentials.
Being the planner that I am, I packed a hospital bag for myself, my husband AND one for our new baby!! In it, I included a few different outfits, several diapers, a boppy, bottles #plural, breast milk storage bags, baby lotion, baby socks, anti scratch mittens and a few (pre-washed) swaddles. Not only did his bag go untouched while we were in the hospital, it only got in my way and tried to keep me from being great when I tried to smuggle ALL of the extra diapers, swaddles, pacifiers, hand sanitizers and pads that were stocked in my hospital room!
4. No one told me…What I WOULDN’T use in the 1st few weeks.
Bibs, toys & stuffed animals, play mats, books and teething rings…you do NOT need them for baby’s arrival. And DEFINITELY do not pack them in your hospital bag!
5. No one told me…To register for diapers in multiple sizes.
I was was overjoyed to have boxes upon boxes of newborn diapers until one day my baby needed size One and we still had 1,000,000,000 newborn-sized diapers to go!!
6. They told me…To sleep when the baby sleeps.
When, how, who #yeahright! Once your newborn FINALLY takes a nap, you shower, eat that thing you’ve been craving, clean the house, call a friend to tell them how exhausted you are and the second you finally close your eyes…your baby will awaken!
7. They told me…Breastfeeding would make the baby weight melt off.
#Lies!! I’m not saying that breastfeeding made me gain weight, but it definitely was not the reason I lost weight. Every woman’s body is different, and in my experience, the baby weight didn’t start to budge until my little Nesty baby started crawling like a speed racer! Research shows that your body burns 380-600 calories a day from breastfeeding…what the research DOESN’T show is that you’ll be starving like crazy due to the increased loss of calories! And for me, the loss of calories meant eating everything in sight!!!
8. They told me…Nipple confusion was real!
This was fiction in our case! However, more than likely your baby will have a preference! In the early days, my Nesty baby ONLY wanted the Comotomo bottle. It was soft and squishy like mommy’s bosom and had a natural slow flow nipple. THEN he got hip to latching and only wanted the boob! Now that he’s in nursery school he prefers the Medela bottle because he can palm them. LOL!#futurebasketballstar.
9. They told me…Sleep training will only take a few nights.
We started sleep training at 6 months (that’s late…I know…no one is perfect). My Nesty baby is almost 11 months and we’re still sleep training! Want proof, ask our neighbors (we live in an apartment)! #bepatient #everybabyisdifferent #teamnosleep
10. They told me…baths/showers will be your your quiet time.
It may, in fact, be quiet in the bathroom…but in your head you’ll hear your baby crying!!! It’s totally irrational, but mommy brain in the early days of postpartum is so real. You’ll hear your baby crying when he/she is soundly sleeping. You think your baby is starving although he/she is burping from being over stuffed. You think you’re going to drop your bundle while you’re firmly planted in the center of the bed surrounded by all of the pillow in the house! #mommybrain #yourenotcrazy
It may, in fact, be quiet in the bathroom…but in your head you’ll hear your baby crying!!! It’s totally irrational, but mommy brain in the early days of postpartum is so real. You’ll hear your baby crying when he/she is soundly sleeping. You think your baby is starving although he/she is burping from being over stuffed. You think you’re going to drop you bundle while you’re firmly planted in the center of the bed surrounded by all of the pillow in the house! #mommybrain